Waffled Writing

I’m looking for ways to express my Self, my understanding of this existence/life, and the ways I know the Creator. Writing has always been there in the way way back of me. I used to try writing stories when I was in third grade. I thoroughly enjoyed the ideas I had, but I could never finish a story. So, naturally, I thought it would be easier and faster if I could just direct these stories/images into movies instead of writing them down. Yes, feel free to laugh.

Here I am, many many many years later and I still battle with this idea of writing. I rarely like what I write. I have ideas that don’t seem full. Said another way, they are thin silhouettes of something that has the potential to be great. Perhaps I need a team… and I sort of have one with my husband. I am grateful for his input, although often we butt heads when it comes to some of the ideas.

One such idea we had recently we discovered was almost pretty much already done. Comedy vs drama, sure, but the framework seemed almost identical. So what do I do? GIVE UP !! I want to toss out those bones and form new ones. But how? A thin idea becomes full, only to be torn down back to something thin again. It makes me want to pick up another idea left abandoned. Waffling back and forth between stories never birthed.

And there are all too many abandoned ideas. Most of the ideas that aren’t abandoned are just ideas that were never even started. SO – I sit here wondering again- should I even pursue this path? I mean, if I really enjoyed it, wouldn’t I be doing it? Or is this hurdle to be jumped? Where is my will?

Where is my will? I need guidance. Can’t someone just tell me what to do ?! [No, I don’t want that, either.]


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