Faith over Fear


So lately something I’ve been noticing is alllll of the tiny fears I have. It’s as if I am in constant battle with my surroundings and life. Awareness is the first step. Already a success!

And how do I shift, move forward, change? Be transformed with the renewing of your mind.

And much of that, to me, is reprogramming myself for behavior that I want instead of continuing with actions/things/beliefs that are no longer serving my spiritual growth. I’m surrounded by my tiny little fears and battles that all boils down to a lack of Faith and Acceptance. Do I really trust God/Source/the Universe? Do I really believe the things I say I believe? And well, yes, I do.

I know it’s the control over my mind and the thoughts I choose to accept and entertain that either imprison me or set me free. I know my perspective shapes the energy behind every thought as well. So, I intend to move from fear to faith.

“Overcome my fear(s)” is the phrase that I was initially wanting to implement. Let me overcome that! But I already know, “Nothing shall be overcome, all that is not needed falls away.” If I’m to understand that overcoming isn’t really the answer; what is it that I’m trying to do?

I am no longer overcoming a fear, I am Strengthening my Faith. That’s what it boils down to. My faith that everything will be all right. I am not my body. I am a spirit or soul that is eternal as My Father has made me. Anything I ask of My Father, He will gladly provide. You can call it God, Father, the Universe, Source. We’re all pretty much saying the same thing with a term/phrase that makes sense to how we view something.

So whether it’s A Course in Miracles, the Bible, the Law of One, The Secret, Reap What You Sew, the Law of Attraction, Mind over Matter, Karma, You Are What You Eat (what? …well, you get the picture. Surely there are many more methods or phrases that I am forgetting or just aren’t aware of…) we are told over and over again: “Ask, and you shall receive. Knock, and the door will be answered.” We just don’t really believe it deep down all the time. So we believe that failure can happen, cultivate fears, and our fears cause us to doubt. Naturally, the world manifests just what we are energetically asking for: uncertainty and failure.

Anyway, a lot of words to just say my shift in perspective is to stop identifying fears and trying to “fight” and “overcome” or “defeat” something.. I just want to strengthen my faith. Everything will be all right. I mean, really and truly, when was it not? Existence will not cease. Experience will always go on. Again, I am not my body.

What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? Only everything.


Waffled Writing

I’m looking for ways to express my Self, my understanding of this existence/life, and the ways I know the Creator. Writing has always been there in the way way back of me. I used to try writing stories when I was in third grade. I thoroughly enjoyed the ideas I had, but I could never finish a story. So, naturally, I thought it would be easier and faster if I could just direct these stories/images into movies instead of writing them down. Yes, feel free to laugh.

Here I am, many many many years later and I still battle with this idea of writing. I rarely like what I write. I have ideas that don’t seem full. Said another way, they are thin silhouettes of something that has the potential to be great. Perhaps I need a team… and I sort of have one with my husband. I am grateful for his input, although often we butt heads when it comes to some of the ideas.

One such idea we had recently we discovered was almost pretty much already done. Comedy vs drama, sure, but the framework seemed almost identical. So what do I do? GIVE UP !! I want to toss out those bones and form new ones. But how? A thin idea becomes full, only to be torn down back to something thin again. It makes me want to pick up another idea left abandoned. Waffling back and forth between stories never birthed.

And there are all too many abandoned ideas. Most of the ideas that aren’t abandoned are just ideas that were never even started. SO – I sit here wondering again- should I even pursue this path? I mean, if I really enjoyed it, wouldn’t I be doing it? Or is this hurdle to be jumped? Where is my will?

Where is my will? I need guidance. Can’t someone just tell me what to do ?! [No, I don’t want that, either.]


1 million fears to overcome

There’s so many ways to say “no,” and I want to change that. I’m trying to unblock this creativity within. I don’t even know that it’s there, but people keep saying everyone has it, so I trust. The thought of posting another blog has been so daunting. I want to give answers and provide guidance or insight, but I am a person full of questions. I don’t have the actual answers; I just have what makes sense to me. How can I guide anyone? I’m just a nobody.

How common, I’m sure. But in any case, here I am with my keyboard sledgehammer trying to knock a hole in this dam. Let something through. Or out.


This is a short one. Just to open the door. Please forgive it, if it is of no worth to you.

close up photo of a drawing
Photo by Markus Spiske on

A Letter to…

I love you just the way you are! Every moment that is possible, the moment contains love. I choose to see you how God sees you: perfect. I hope you believe in your worth as God has created your worth.
Any belief in lack, or sinfulness, or unworthiness is a belief that you are separate from Him, when you cannot be. This belief in separation often comes with the heavy weight of unworthiness because it might appear that God is punishing us or God does not love us because x, y, or z, when all along it was us who “chose” the belief in separation. God granted Free Will and we chose to believe we are separate. This is the veil. The perception or belief of separation. Let the veil be torn from your eyes and your mind.
Of what and/or From what did God create? If there was only God, then God can only have given of Himself.
We are constantly growing toward being closer to God and more pure, if we let it. We are all on this path, and I believe none will be lost. The Prodigal Son story is this physical existence. We take what is rightfully ours, our inheritance from God, and we experience it fully and – of course- unwisely, because we are incomplete without Him. We believe we are unworthy, unholy, unloved but when we finally relinquish the physical pleasures and no longer desire separation because we realize the wholeness God the Father provides, we return to Him. And does he punish us? Is He mad at us? No, we have been loved all along. Everything we had with Him is once again ours. Some sons may take longer to reach this point than others, but I do not believe God ever shuts the door on His children.  Ever. That would not be perfect Love and God’s love can’t be anything but perfect, unconditional love. His love is the creative force, and His love never fails. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE MEANS WITHOUT CONDITION !!!!!!!!!!!!  You either believe that, or you don’t.
And on this path to being more pure and more Holy, as long as we have identity, it’s easy to believe we are separate from God, because God clearly cannot be limited to that which I identify with, therefore I know God is “bigger” and “broader” and “more” than myself. And as long as we believe we are separate from God, we perceive a lack and we perceive sin, because we are aware that we are incomplete on some level. It’s this Unity with God that mends our “brokenness.” God did not create our misery, but He did create our Free Will. I don’t think He did this on accident, and I don’t think he was blind-sided when we “chose” to “eat” from the tree of knowledge of good and evil and therefore begin believing we were separate. I believe His plan is perfect, and what He allows is within his desire or “plan” for us and His creation.
Knowledge of “Good” being everything that is infinite and with God (or closer to Him in our view) and “Evil” being everything that is perceived separation from God. If I am to believe that my Creator is perfect, then how can I allow him to make a “mistake” when creating Free Will? This existence and this life has a purpose. I do not believe we are supposed to understand this purpose in this lifetime. This lifetime, I believe, is about realizing love. Finding love, sharing love, receiving love.  Finding love when we are blinded to God’s presence has greater power. Just as Jesus said, (paraphrased) it’s easier to love your family and friends than it is to love the tax-man and the perceived enemy. It’s the same idea. It’s “easy” to love when you are able to see God’s perfect Creation all around you. So to be blind to the perfection and still be able to find love is great catalyst for growth toward being more pure and more Holy. We are in the moments of seeking love and seeking unity. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Love your neighbor as if he is your-self. This is unity.
Realizing our unity with God, realizing He Created every thing with a purpose, and relinquishing our ego desire for His Will (His design for this Creation) and to allow Him and the Holy Spirit to rule our lives is all the same, in my mind. This is walking in the Garden of Eden with God. This is Heaven on earth. The re-realization of our unification with God. The relinquishing of the veil, the letting go of our belief in separation.
This is not the same things as believing “I am God.” Because (1) I did not create myself, and (2) “I” still has an identity, and God is not an identity. To define God as something is to limit God to something. God has no limits. I recently came across the interpretation that this is why it was written that we should not create graven images in His likeness. Because to give God form means to limit his form.
The Creator is everything. The Creator is infinity, and infinity is obviously not finite, limited, or able to be numbered or defined. As long as “I Am” anything, then I AM not the Infinite Creator. Becoming the Creator is Becoming All that there is (i.e. losing my identity/ letting go of the things I have chosen to identify with/ losing my “limitation” of the label/experience). The great I AM is every thing, during every moment, for all time; the beginning and the end. Or maybe it’s easier to see God as the potential for everything in the great God-Mind without anything being “singled out” or labeled or identified.
I was created by God “in His image” for some purpose. The trinity-image being mind, body, and spirit. God: the great Mind, universal-consciousness, the original thought(s). Body: Jesus, the Word/Logos, Love, the energy of creation,    creation itself, physical manifestation of God. And the Spirit: the shuttle to communicate the mini-me-mind and the Great Mind. Some liken the Spirit the the Will. I am still learning the ways of the Spirit. Truth be told, I am still learning the ways of the Mind and of the Body. But I don’t believe they were created without purpose.
The mind contains all things. The mind contains thoughts of “good” and thoughts of “evil” and it’s up to me to choose which thoughts I want to engage in. If I can control my mind and my thoughts, then I realize that I am not the mind. The mind does not control me. “I am” something else which is controlling the mind. Furthermore, if I can control my thoughts I can “control” my reaction to that which is around me. I can find love when I previously wouldn’t have found it. I can experience forgiveness when I previously wouldn’t have sought it. I am capable of as much “sin” as anyone else around me because I contain the same amount of potential as anyone else, but I choose not to engage in it, and it all begins with my mind and the thoughts I choose to follow/believe.
The Great Mind comes first, so my mini-me-mind comes first. The God-mind had a thought before He made creation. Thought comes first. Similarly, but more limited- my thoughts “create” my reality because my thoughts are shaping my perspective on myself and my surroundings. The greatest healing anyone can have is a shift in their perspective, in my opinion. Do you trust God’s design in this creation? If you choose to trust that this creation is from God and can see others as yourself, then you might can shift your perspective. So when you’re talking with your neighbor, you might start to think “I am my neighbor, so what am I trying to say to myself right now?” Or “What is God saying to me right now through this neighbor?” Treat one another as a mirror. A reflection of the Self you are experiencing. Everything can be a lesson to become more pure, more Holy, and less distorted with the ego mind. Don’t let your ego-mind control your reality!

These are lessons I have been learning/mulling over the past couple of weeks, so now I am compelled to share them.  In unity- to learn is the same as to teach, unless you aren’t teaching what you are learning; in which case you are doing you/anyone little or no good. This understanding should be pondered…

I shall leave you with this little snippet:
Let us examine the heart of evolution.

Let us remember that we are all one. This is the great learning/teaching. In this unity lies love. This is a great learn/teaching. In this unity lies light (or wisdom). This is the fundamental teaching of all planes of existence in materialization. Unity, love, light, and joy; this is the heart of evolution of the spirit.

The second-ranking lessons are learn/taught in meditation and in service (helping or serving others as God created YOUR DESIRES for helping and serving others). … Always begin and end in the Creator, not in technique.

Much much much love to you. May you always choose peace, love, light, and joy in the ever-present moment of “now.”
—- Excerpts/lessons/teachings are taken from the Law of One, the Bible, and A Course in Miracles and are paraphrased or shaped with my own distortion to teach in the way I feel might be beneficial.

Transformation in the Moment

I’m in a state this morning. I’ve been working on feeling love, giving love. To teach is the same as to learn. This is the idea behind “practice what you preach.” Whatever you think you believe is irrelevant. How you act is what you believe, and how you act is teaching yourself what is “true” and what you believe. On this same note, it is obviously teaching others what you believe, what is acceptable, and what is your “truth.” You are teaching yourself and other selves with every action.

So, yesterday (even today) was pretty good with feeling love and unity for all, but this morning I suppose I could say this philosophy was “tested.” Being confronted with the terrible things one human can do to another, can I still extend love and forgiveness? Can I see them as myself and offer only love without any condemnation? Can I extend love without judgment?

Well, I was able to, but it does have me in a weird state still. I’m supposed to be outraged by human trafficking, murder, and pedophilia. And there is a part of me that is. Absolutely. I would never engage in these actions, but can I extend love to these other selves? Can I look past the actions and see the divinity within that is distorted/obstructed by the ego?


Yes. I can, and I must.

In the infinite possibility of every moment is the possibility of love. And I choose to transform each moment with love.

Now- more to the point of this post, every moment is a transformation. When you interact with another self, you are transforming their world, their mood, and their energy. If you are complaining, or offering hatred or annoyance, this will cause the other person to soak up some of that energy, even if it’s not “directed” at them… Well, of course it’s directed at them! They’re the one receiving the energy whether they were “the cause” or not. I won’t go off on a tangent about causes….

Bottom line, every moment is a transformation because our energy affects that which is around us. How am I going to transform this moment? What am I going to extend to my other selves?


The moment contains love. The infinite possibility of every moment contains love. So for me, I aim to choose love out of all the infinite possibilities.

The container of peace, love, light, and joy.

Brief note to share one of the many offerings from the Law of One that has touched me today. Full excerpt of the Q/A is below the snippet.

We may note at this point while you ponder the possibility/probability vortices that although you have many, many items which cause distress and thus offer seeking and service opportunities, there is always one container in that store of peace, love, light, and joy. This vortex may be very small, but to turn one’s back upon it is to forget the infinite possibilities of the present moment. Could your planet polarize towards harmony in one fine, strong moment of inspiration? Yes, my friends. It is not probable; but it is ever possible.

Let us always be aware of the opportunity/option of peace (unity), love (understanding), light (wisdom), and joy.

65.12  Questioner: Then each of the Wanderers here acts as a function of the biases he has developed in any way he sees fit to communicate or simply be in his polarity to aid the total consciousness of the planet. Is there any, shall I say, more physical way that he aids in— what I mean is, do the vibrations somehow add, just as electrical polarity or charging a battery or something? Does that also aid the planet, just the physical presence of the Wanderers?

Ra: I am Ra. This is correct and the mechanism is precisely as you state. We intended this meaning in the second portion of our previous answer.

You may, at this time, note that as with any entities, each Wanderer has its unique abilities, biases, and specialties so that from each portion of each density represented among the Wanderers comes an array of pre-incarnative talents which then may be expressed upon this plane which you now experience so that each Wanderer, in offering itself before incarnation, has some special service to offer in addition to the doubling effect of planetary love and light and the basic function of serving as beacon or shepherd.

Thus there are those of fifth density whose abilities to express wisdom are great. There are fourth- and sixth-density Wanderers whose ability to serve as, shall we say, passive radiators or broadcasters of love and love/light are immense. There are many others whose talents brought into this density are quite varied.

Thus Wanderers have three basic functions once the forgetting is penetrated, the first two being basic, the tertiary one being unique to that particular mind/body/spirit complex.

We may note at this point while you ponder the possibility/probability vortices that although you have many, many items which cause distress and thus offer seeking and service opportunities, there is always one container in that store of peace, love, light, and joy. This vortex may be very small, but to turn one’s back upon it is to forget the infinite possibilities of the present moment. Could your planet polarize towards harmony in one fine, strong moment of inspiration? Yes, my friends. It is not probable; but it is ever possible.

Contract – daily prompt

I am grateful for these opportunities to write creatively.


Contract – Connection – Closeness

When I think of Contract there are a couple of ways I can interpret this- all with a similar thread, in my mind.

Contract – binding agreements
Contract – bringing to oneself (contract a disease)
Contract – to shrink/ bring closer together

So- these all seem to imply connection.  The word got me to thinking: When you “contract” a disease- is this a binding agreement? Where does this “agreement” originate? My current beliefs indicate that there are times when someone has a “soul contract” to be ill – to learn lessons (or teach lessons, like compassion). So, that’s an agreement.

There are other times that a person may have a metaphysical issue that manifests itself in the physical through illness. Again, this is like a contract in my opinion. Like an “attachment” from something that needs to be addressed. This physical manifestation of the metaphysical is binding itself to you, until it is addressed and released.

When you “contract” a disease, you are also bringing the elements closer together. 😉 That which was “apart” from you is now “a part” of you. I love it. This word has seemingly different meanings, but I think of them as all pretty much the same now.


That was a fun little exercise. Thank you, Scott’s Daily Prompt.


Colleen’s Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge NO. 92, “Bewitch & Treasure,” #SynonymsOnly

I need a challenge! [EDIT: I failed the challenge already!! I only saw the guidelines for “synonyms only” and did not see that it was requested to be in a specific form! Next time, Gadget… Next time.]

Colleen’s Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge NO. 92, “Bewitch & Treasure,” #SynonymsOnly


Soul Coffee

Morning dew welcomes my feet
A cool cushion with each step
Sunlight peeking through leaves
Spying as if we haven’t met

Captivating stillness
Overwhelming balance

The trees conjure an inescapable hex
Binding my heart to their glory
Caught and cradled by the spectacular effects
Exalted, this nature transitory

Dynamic richness
Infinite abundance

Awake, my Soul

Don’t Take My Word For It

While reading “Leap Beyond Your Limits” by Chris Curran (definitely recommend this book) I came across this sentence:

With the glut of information that we suffer from in modern society, more of our thoughts are formed based on the experience of others rather than our own personal experiences.

How true! I know from personal experience (lol) that I SURELY DO THIS, and I notice this in others as well. Perhaps in a light form, we go to YouTube or Google to find others to validate our thoughts, therefore confirming them without deep analysis. Other times, we go outside of ourselves to learn “new” thoughts.

We trust others using our own discernment mechanisms, but how often do we actually evaluate our own experience before accepting a thought as a belief? Also, how often do we actually try to obtain our own personal experience??

Extending this idea even further, when I go to YouTube or someone’s blog- how much of their experience is actually based on their experience and not someone else’s?! You can’t always know if someone is spouting off knowledge they’ve actually tested with their own mind/body/spirit complex or if they’re trusting someone else’s beliefs and distortions when they choose to share “their” knowledge.

The book also mentions how advertising and media are full of “false thoughts” that creep into the mind. Your body/hair/car/house/clothing is not good enough- you need this. Other people love this, so you should love it, too. Your health/emotional/financial problems are not created by you, so you don’t need to think about them- you need this pill to get rid of it (i.e. mask it). 

These kinds of thoughts are dangerous, because they tend to creep into the subconscious mind for processing before “you” (your conscious self) are even aware of the thought-forms that are being created into beliefs.

Soon you start thinking, “Man, I’m depressed. I should ask my doctor for pills” without even stopping to evaluate your experiences when you’re “down” or “hopeless” or “isolating yourself socially” or “anxious.” Maybe these things are diet-related. Maybe these things are just your body telling you you need to recharge for a minute. Maybe there is an unhealthy element in your life that needs to be addressed (the people around you, work environment, family circumstances). Find the “depression-trigger” and address it – don’t just mask the symptoms alerting you to a problem. (Note: this is not a blanket statement for ALL CASES OF DEPRESSION, so don’t worry about defending the use of medication- I simply mean to encourage people to EVALUATE their experience before they run to a solution)

Always judge your thoughts. Test them. Weigh them. Where does the thought come from? Is this true? Does this fall into my beliefs, based on my own experience? Are the thoughts really “me”? The answer is always “no” to that one, by the way- “I” am never “my thoughts.” Nan yar? 

Bottom line: Go out and form your own experiences!


“A Soul Force Prayer”

Excerpt of an excerpt?

The following is taken from the book Soul Force by Reesheda Graham-Washington and Shawn Casselberry. I am only 21 pages into the book, so I cannot yet fully “recommend” it to anyone. However, what I have read so far- I would recommend. I share this with you, I share this with myself.

I literally had just finished a prayer to help me seek the Creator, and turned left- saw the book and opened it up. This excerpt is on page 22, and I did not read from page 21 to 22, it had just fell open to page 22 – the page after my bookmark. OK, enough explaining-


This prayer is by Howard Thurman, a minister, theologian, and civil rights activist who was committed to nonviolence and building beloved community. Let this be our prayer and rallying cry as we begin this journey toward soul force.

Lord, open unto me

Open unto me – light for my darkness.
Open unto me – courage for my fear.
Open unto me – hope for my despair.
Open unto me – peace for my turmoil.
Open unto me – joy for my sorrow.
Open unto me – strength for my weakness.
Open unto me – wisdom for my confusion.
Open unto me – forgiveness for my sins.
Open unto me – love for my hates.
Open unto me – thy Self for my self.

Lord, Lord, open unto me!


Howard Thurman, Meditations of the Heart (1981)